Spiritual Journey into Transendence

Betsy Sayer's ideas on spiritual matters.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Love of Christmas

I see this as a perfect day to honor the mission of Jeshua. He gave but one commandment, "This is my commandment, That you love one another, as I have loved you," John 15:12 If we celebrate the birth of this great man, we must celebrate his word.


Thursday, December 22, 2005

theme park

The thing is, since this experience that happened during surgery, most times I feel like I'm in a theme park. Its all just great fun. Even when I think I'm crabby, there is this other self that is simply humored by the whole experience of it (what "experience" might totally mean, I think I cannot yet grasp), but my point is this; I am more alive outside of this drama that we call life, than I am within the drama itself.

Sounds pretty freakie to me!! Yet, it is what I am experiencing right now, in every moment of time, as it passes. I can suddenly see all these aspects of myself that I thought I was myself. I believed myself to be a mom. But "mom" is only a role I play in this theatrical drama we play out. And its an awesome drama....it truly is. Think about that for awhile. Just take a few minutes and imagine your life as an award winning theatrical production. Its good isn't it? I bet you its a great show!! Mine is!!


Given this is my first blog, and I don't know what level of energetic safety to expect, I currently have chosen to moderate this blog for now. If I find that it is unnecessary, I will change it at a later date.

My husband and I shaved our head before surgery. A graditude ceremony for my ability to give birth to my two amazing children, one of which is massaging my head.

Well, this should be interesting. I feel like I'm steping into a whole new dimension, or maybe a "hole" new dimension. That, has yet to be determined. Either way, talking to a blog feels like talking to a higher self anyway (and I've only done it for three minutes now). I mean really, don't we communic... no, talk is the better word, 98% of the time just to hear ourselves anyway? Honestly?

On September 14th, I had a sub-total hysterectomy. Major surgery, yes, but uncomplicated right? Well, uncomplicated if the doctor has well working tools. Which by the way, I haven't really grown accustomed to using the word "tool" for something that was inserted into my body. None the less, here is the story.
After several weeks of severe abdominal pain, three tumors were found embedded in the posterior wall of my uterus. Although believed to be non-cancerous (which they were), they had to come out. Evidentally, the surgeon had just purchased a new tool for cauterizing ateries, and it didn't function properly, and somebody had not brought the back-up tool into the OR, so....I lost a lot of blood. I had an experience through all of this, even though I was supposed to be "under." Whatever that really means.
I knew for certain that I wasn't going to die. But I was also aware that the staff in the surgery room was quite anxious about the situation, and there was some stress and chaos going on. I (whoever I Am), was perfectly fine and calm. More peace than I have ever experienced in this lifetime.
Since then, I have had memories of an exsistence before this precious human birth. They come in almost download form, through meditation, or quiet contemplation.
This blog is a forum to share this experience, and the ensueing information.......understandings that I now have, and continue to receive. I will be writing a lot about forgiveness I suspect, as this has been the most encompassing experience/shift I have had as a human being since this event.
My hope is that others that have had similar experiences will find this blog, and share with us their own stories, and interpretations of their stories and experiences. I personally want to focus on the spiritual aspect of these experiences and the shift that occurs from them.
One thing is certain, well many things are certain as it turns out, but one certainty that I can now speak of, is the love that keeps this Universe intertwined. Love is the Web upon which every dimension every world, universe and dimension builds itself upon. It is all we remember when we are out of this vessel that we call a body. I know many people will argue this, and I hope they do, because I really want to hear more from many about this issue.
My personal intention is to show respect for all view points that are expressed here. And it is my hope that respectful and loving curiousities are the primary motivators for all those who communicate here as well.

Love and Light!! ~ Betsy